I don’t believe I’m asking too much from you

From myself

I don’t believe I want something you don’t

Ease, flow, gentle movements

Like a mermaid

Playing in the ocean of our joy

And floating in the pools of our contentment

You can feel it too,

I know you can

 

I want to see your strength again

To feel you hold me up

Hold me

Muscles and sweat, the sweet burn of working

Let’s climb again

Powerfully exploring every curve of the earth

Curiosity and will carrying us

To places we capture in our imagination

 

Now go on

Release the energy of this lifetime

Run faster than you’ve ever run

Leap higher and farther than before

Lift us carefree and confidently

Into the stars

To kiss the galaxies

 

Then come back to my center

And draw into the long stretch of breath

Sink into the power

Of feeling your body

The meeting place between below and above

Notice, just notice

The beat of your heart

The feel of your skin

The love of my caress

When I look at her

I see a sparkle all around her face

And a smile that tells me she’s happy to see me

I see eyes that welcome me in

And arms willing to hold me tenderly

I see her dreams and joys

I witness her sorrows and fears

I am comforted by her voice

And tickled by her laugh

She inspires me, challenges me, teases me and

Moves me

To be more of myself

 

When I look at her

I don’t wonder if her butt looks good in that outfit

Or if her thighs move when she walks

I don’t contemplate the best way for her to look sexy

On her back, or on her side?

I don’t ask myself if she has cellulite on her butt

Or if her back has rolls of extra skin

Or if she’s lost a few pounds, or if she’s gained a few pounds

Or if she’s got flabby arms or chubby knees

 

When I look at her I love her

Simple and pure

Fiercely protective and proudly supportive

I love her

I love her

I love her

She is my friend, my mother, my auntie, my soul sister

She is my mentor, my teacher, my counsel, my guide

She is my grandmother and my child, my pal and my companion

She is my partner, my playmate, my lover

I love her

I love her

I love her

 

I don’t look at her in judgment

I don’t weigh her worth in pounds

I don’t measure her power in inches

And so I sit here and wonder

 

Why do I do that to myself?

How does food become the fuel for my body?

From the plate to a fork

From the fork to my lips

And suddenly a magical series of events is set off

Sensors on my tongue

Transform my food into pleasure

Tastes that please and tease my brain

While secretly they also tell my mouth to send enzymes

Breaking down bites of plant and animal

Swallow

Dropping my food down into a chasm of roiling acid

Undulations begin moving

Gentle waves

Through my system

The walls extracting

The nutrients and minerals

The proteins and particles

I need to survive

Filtering out the poisons

Discarding the waste

Three times a day

Every day

From the soil my food comes forth

And to the soil my body will return

But for now

I eat and drink

Gratefully

The eye I see in the mirror is but a storefront

To a magical looking glass

A fantastic living telescope

Powerful, yet fragile

Opening and closing, dilating

As needed

Light playing off every surface

Images reversed to look inside

Myself, inside you

Peering from within to the outer world

Allowing me to find my way

Sending intricate electrical signals to receptors in my brain

Who wait for them with anticipation

Stimulating thousands of systems to begin

Each day, each hour, each moment

And another lifetime passes

Unseen

Waking in the dark of night

Agony ripping through me

Tearing, twisting,

Piercing my side

Confusion, terror,

Blindly finding my way

Through the dark

My brain trying to make sense

Of the excruciating pain

Driving through me

Driving me

To seek reprieve, relief

Begging for a moment of

Mercy

What did I do? What did I do?

What’s happening?

How can I make it stop?

Throbbing, stabbing,

I surrender

Short of breath,

Unable to find thoughts

Panic sets in quickly and finds

An easy bedfellow with

Guilt

What did I do? I must have done something

Why is this happening?

Please make it stop

 

And in an instant

The option

Of taking you for granted

Is wiped away

I am humbled and awed

By you

All over again

And reminded

It can all be gone again

In an instant